Worst Nightmare

The classroom discussion had me thinking today, and I know for a lot of people it was quite difficult to explain their worst nightmares that they had had in their life either recently or years ago. For me, it's been quite recent, but it all started two years ago. My dreams are horrifying and not exactly making sense? There has only been one other person who has ever heard my nightmares, so this is kind of rough and please bear with me; it's not exactly easy.

1. The first one starts with me laying in my bed, just sitting up either reading or writing, something else; it sometimes changes. Well, then all the lights go out, and it's completely dark in my room. Then all of a sudden I see a faintly glowing light coming from the end of my bed. I'm sort of freaked out already, but then--and in each time this dream reoccurs, it changes people. I'll get into that--either my grandmother, my dance instructor, or my grandfather would show up, yelling at the top of their lungs, telling me I'm such a horrible person, I could do better. I know it doesn't make much sense, but all of these people that show up yelling and screaming at me, we're all the heroes in my life. My grandmother, Nana, died of Ovarian Cancer when I was five, and I never knew much about her, but I loved her with my life; she was always smiling. My grandfather, Pepere ((french for grandfather)), he died about six years ago, he suffered from a massive heart attack. That changed my life, I was his special granddaughter because out of eight of us, I was the only one who talked to him, and liked what he liked: all of his hobbies, history of the world, coins. My dance instructor, Miss Jessie, she taught me how to live life, how to use all my energy into dancing and because of her, I take every moment in my life for granted, no regrets... ever. She died of Ovarian Cancer at the age of 20, suffering for three years, and in every moment she danced. She gave up her life, accepted into the prestigious dance school in NY, and all of her talents, and she died. I never understood it. To this day, I don't understand this dream: did I do something to upset them? Never got to say goodbye?

2. The second one was kind of weird, if I do so say myself. The dream starts off in a field behind a neighbors house and I'm standing at one end, the "real" me, and on the other is another version of me, a much darker version or the "dark" me. There are shadows surrounding the "dark" version of me, and there are people over there that hate me. My enemies, who try to change me into that version of myself. It scares me because every day I see people leave the real version of me, and move to the other side against me. I'm afraid that no one will be there to help me when the final battle comes along and finishes me off. I'm just petrified of being alone, I guess.

-Shan.